A dancing flame

soo i've decided to stop with the whole beginning the sentence in the title. it's harder than actually trying to come up with a legit title. so anyways i know i said i'd blog about the field trip, but as we all know i'm forever lazy and that's not going to happen. i prefer to blog on my own time. anyways! i decided it's time to take action because i'm fed up with this shit so i'm going to talk to angel myself. we were walking and it was the day it was pretty cold. yesterday, i think. so we're walking and i'm like "omg my hands are so cold." so i put one hand in my pocket, and the other i need for my phone. so i look at him and think fuck this shit. and i go "can i hold your hand?" and he goes "omg yes." but he actually said it, he didn't say omg. so we're walking and....yeah. that's all to that story. haha i'm pretty convinced victor ortiz and dos hate me. i'd have to have either lizzie ask them. i'm not sure what to do. heh, silly me. making a deal out of something i shouldn't be. do i like victor again? ehhhh i guess you could say that. it's not complete. well, i should probably wrap this up. i know it's pretty short, i apoligize. but it's margarita tuesdays!!! so , of course, i have to go be social. and by social i mean, sit and listen to their conversation. laughing occasionaly because drunk puerto ricans amuse me. haha. boriqua!!! lol i'm pretty sure that's spelled wrong. i'm silly. stay magical(:

if i could be like her...

my life with scott and my mom wouldn't be that bad. they'd be proud of me. unashamed to tell people i'm their daughter. sure she has problems as well, but it's natural, isn't it? nobody can live a perfect life. if i could be like her, i'd know what it feels like to be grogeous. to take a picture and not retake it fifty times. if i could be like her, i'd know who really loves me, instead of second guessing everyone. if i could be her, i'd have real friends. ones i'm positive they love me, and always have my back. if i could be like her, i'd have support from people, instead of my mom yelling at me to put me in a mental hostpital. if i could be like her, i'd have talent. i could look my best on my worst days. i would be succesful, get good grades, be skinny, do sports, and manage to stay somewhat sane. if  i could be like her, i'd be known and liked by all my teachers. she doesn't want me to be like her, but if i could be like her, the her i know and love deeply, for even a day, i would be perfectly happy. only to return to my overprotective life, and be sad all over again. i would be able to stand up for myself, and fight back, instead of cowering down, yelling at only the people i know wouldn't dare kill me.  i wouldn't have to cry out for attention, i'd know better and to stick to myself. have i turned to be an attention whore? i guess you could say that. but what else are you supposd to do when all you want is love? yes, if i could be like amanda valencia, i'd truly know what it's like to be, in my eyes, a princess.

H-O-L-Y S-H-I-T today was

the best day ever!!!!!!!! alright, so me, lizzie, dos, jessie, and sam were all going to hang out at sams house but my mom said no, so we stayed at the playground until she came. alright, well it started to drizzle, but we didn't think much of it. then it started raining really hard so we all went under the slide, and it started raining really hard, and thundering so sam and jessie left. then after they left it stopped raining and , i kept insisting that lizzie and dos just to go to sams house, but they wanted to stay with me. so then it started raining again really hard, and we went back under the slide, and these guys who were playing football came under the slide with us, and then i turn around and victor ortiz was behind me. omfg, i forgot how cute he was. so then we don't talk at all, and we see lizzies mom go into the mobiles are all "fuck this shit" well, that's what i said, and we start running to the mobiles and so we're running, and victor comes up next to me, and smiles causing me to almost trip, for i was blinded by the cuteness. he's probably the cutest person with braces. other than mandy (; anyways, so we're waiting outside the mobiles and norma opens the door, and we grab her umbrella and all three of us were walking underneath it. so i look at victor and go "i'm maegan, by the way" and i shake his hand. i'm not really sure if that was a smart move, he might've thought i was weird, so somebody text me saying if it was stupid or not. please no hate texts. so then he shakes my hand and he goes "yeah, i know who you are." but not mean, like..cute.  and i'm like "really?" and he goes "how could i not?" and smiles. boom. MIND YOU it was raining and so i was looking my worst, but he still goes ahead and says that. don't hate on our family swag <3 <3 :D :D haha anywaysss it stops raining and i think he still thinks i like him. i don't know why, just putting that out there randomly. oh right, it stops raining and at this point we're all having so much fun with the whole wet playground and listening to music and then victor charlie horsed dos and dos got pissed and slapped victor with his wet t shirt, that he took off. eventually, he slapped everyone with the t shirt. he was telling everyone it meant he loves you. so i'm just standing there, not slapped, so unloved, and he goes "oh! how did i forget you? you love my accent!" and slaps me. i've never been happier to be slapped. would i like victor again? i'd think about it. angels not doing shit, so i'm sort of losing hope on that. i still think he'd be a perverted jerk. i could just tell him pervertdness is a no no, but i don't want to seem crazy and demanding. man, someone needs to text me. that's out there, so i should be getting texts. just saying...well, i have to go do homework. have to email something to beldie. i'll blog about the field trip we had yesterday, soon. stay magical(:

So i'm not sure

if i talked about this already or not. i mean, i know i already talked about nick and how he called me his girlfriend but there's more to that. so here goes. alright, so i didn't really think much about nick calling me his girlfriend, because well, it's nick. haha so I'm just going along with it whatever, and so i text him and I'm all "ayo "and he goes "hey gf ;)" and so i asked him why he started saying that all of a sudden and he goes "cuz it's true ;)" and i go "lql you wish!" and he goes "lol totally ;)" and i didn't think much of that because he's just weird, so then I'm bored and tired out of my mind and so i text him and say "hey bf (; lmao" and he didn't respond for like ten minutes so then I'm like "jk....." and right after i sent that he goes "hey (; <3" so then i go "crazy :p I'M TIRED AS ALL HELL" and so he goes "why babe? XD lmfao" and so i go "lol shut up :D" but I'm thinking "NO SERIOUSLY SHUT UP O_O" look, I'm not saying he's madly in love with me. maybe it is really nick just being nick, and i don't get that but...it's strange. look, i don't want to get three texts saying he wants to get in my pants, ok?!?! ok. any further questions should be text to my number. thank you. haha stay magical(:

Alrighty then

ok, so for future record, i'm going to begin the blog post on the title. so the title is the begginning of the first sentence. mainly because i never know how to start these things. ok! so i got my present today!!! so it's after school and he grabs me and pulls me to the side of the mobiles. of course, lizzie and maria are there like derps and they get the hint that they should leave, so they leave. ok, so he gets his bookbag (i hate the term backpack. yucky) and he's like "so it was supposd to be flowers but mother nature hates me,so i couldn't get there. the place was closed too, even though there was someone clearly in there." so he pulls out this little pink bunny. i half died. the thing is so cute. i'm going to try to put a picture of it, as soon as i figure out how to work this stupid webcam. so yeah i thank him all cute blablabla and then he pulls out a piece of paper, and my mind goes back to invitation to be his girlfrend and i'm thinking "damn, i got a legiet invitation." but no, it has two pandas that he drew. because my nickname is panda. clever. so yeah, i'm going to try to put pictures, don't get your hopes up. even though i know you weren't. so today i hung out after school with maria, sam, lizzie, aaron( dos), daniel gromek, william, and lizzie. daniel is amazing. just saying. he's so incredibly polite and funny. and in highschool...haha i never even thought of liking him. anyway,dos. i love love love his accent. i want it. badly. it's all phillapino (yes, i'm aware that's spelled wrong) and me and sam were sitting at stoners spot, and he came and we were talking about sam and williams relationship. alright, i'm pretty sure sam wouldn't want me putting the conversation on here, and i respect her, so i won't. anyway, dos was all "soo victor ortiz..." and looks at me. i've been over that kid for a while now. so then he goes "do you still?" and i'm like "nah, i used to then i realized he doesn't know who the hell i am, so i gave up on that" and he goes "huh?  he knows who you are?" and i'm like " what?" and he's like "yeah, he notices you a lot." great, when i like the kid he has no interest in me but now that i'm soo close to dating someone, he notices me. and a lot. would i like him again? depending on where this whole angel thing goes. i just feel like he'd be a douche-jerk thing. but whatever. gotta go be unproductive. stay magical(:

So lately,

some crazy things have been happening. alright, so sam and william are dating. wtf, i know!!! ok, so i'm walking up to the school lalala and i think maria comes up to me and tells me that they're dating. so then me being me, freaks out and is so super happy and i accidenty hit sam in the face while trying to give her a hug. but their relationship is so...awkward, i guess. they don't really talk to eachother and when they do it's like they're both trying to avoid the conversation completely. and they're almost never around eachother. but, again, when they are, they won't look at eachother. i'm definately not the expert on relationships, but something there doesn't seem quite right... i think sam is still feeling hate for william a little bit. she said she's giving him a week before he either A) annoys the shit out of her or B) makes her fall madly in love. we'll just have to wait, now won't we? anyways, lizzie likes edin even more. see, she tried to get over him so people would stop bugging her about it, but according to her, it made her like him even more. god have mercy on all our souls, the girl won't shut up about him!! it's getting quite annoying, i must say. oh, speaking of lizzie this whole thing happened yesterday. so to sum it up, she got really upset at me and maria and we had a talk. well, she talked and i came up with excuses. and the whole time i'm thinking "do you want me to tell you i hate you right now or do you want me to wait a while and let you cool down?" i was going to smack her... of course maria and sam came back because they kept leaving their oxygen right next to us. gotta love them.... heh, sam and williams anniversary is on pi day...cute. so lately, scott hasn't been picking me up from school. in fact, he hasn't picked me up all week. i think it's because we had this huge argument and he said he didn't like picking me up, and he didn't need to or want to. my moms so cute, trying to fix things. soo angel was supposed to get me a surprise ( not sure if i talked about this already or not, but i'm going to say it again) and the thing he needed didn't come in until last friday so i was going to get it wednesday, but he seriously messed up his hip and was at the doctor, so i'm getting it tommorow. and then he said we'd talk. me? i'm thinking the surprise is an invation to be his girlfriend. and the thing that didn't come in til friday was the guts he needed to do it. oh, and because i'm a creeper, i saved all the really cute messages he's ever sent and i just recenty deleted them all. i was so upset, it wan't even funny. thank god i've got them all stored in the file cabinent in my brain. oh, also jessie told me that rumour is edin likes me. so naturally i asked how she knew and she said that chis and tomasz told her, and that edin told them that he likes me. so basically, edin told chris and tomasz and they told jessie. why does everyone tell jessie the greatest news? maybe she can keep a secret, i don't know. anyways, my fear is that this rumour is true. not because edin would like me, he's completely adorable, but because it would kill lizzie. she really likes lizzie and says i get a lot of guys (which is a complete lie, but whatever) so if i stole the guy she really likes, she'd be one pissed and two hearbroken. it's her first real crush, and then all of a sudden i come in and take that away from her. but she'd understand it's not my fault, right? she has to. it's not like i meant for him to like me, it sorta just happened. damn valencia charm... XD <3 i like being valencia. it has it's advantages. so, now that sam and william are dating i can't look at them the same way. it's like i look at sam and go "ew, she's a girlfriend." or i look at william and go "ew, he's a boyfriend." even when i date people i go "ew, i'm a girlfriend." i don't know, it just feels weird to me. oh, and nick has been acting weird lately, too. ok, so we're texting and i was about to tell him about angel and the surprise so i go "guess what??" and he goes "what? you like me??" and i'm just like "nooo..." and then today, i was by the corn cart, (you know, the mexican corn) and he comes, so, naturally, i give him a hug. and he's with kasim (FOR THE RECORD I HATE KASIM WITH A PASSION) and so he's gibing me  a hug, and he goes "this is my new girlfriend" adn then i'm waiting i line like a good girl, and he keeps hitting my ass with his shirt. and i'm just like "really? is that really neccesary?" of course, i didn;t say that, i was thinking that. and thn he accidently hit my no no area but he freaked out an apoligized a milllion times, because he knows i hate pervertedness. so he respects that. oh, by the way i typed everything about nick with my head down on the floor. so i wasn't looking at the keyboard. like a boss. haha stay magical(:

thanks for putting that into my head...

alrighty, what's been going on with maegannn? well, today i was walking and then angel came and he hit my arm and then he was like "we have to talk tommorow after school at the top of the stairs" and i go "you promise" and he goes "i promise" and lifts me up. dance competition was fun, my dance got first. i know that's pretty bad but whatever. well, it goes first, top first, and elite top first. sooo we got the lowest. but whatever. oh! title explanation. so, pops was all "all guys want is sex blablabla" and i obviously already knew that, but i kind of didn't want it being the first thing i think about whenever some sort of drama with guys happen. i mean, my boobs are pretty big, i guess. and yeah i've always hated them. but know that i think about it, in highschool, whenever i get a boyfriend i don't know if he's gonna want to date me for me or...for them. you get it. i mean, mandys are big-ish i guess and her and ricky seem to have a pretty good relationship. idk i don't know a lot of details. eh, i don't know, i'll just have to wait intil that time comes. i don't even know what to talk about, really. i'm eating chicken nuggets and watching the regular show. so maria's going to von, and so is jacky. and jessica plaud. ten more days until my lane results come in!!! i didn't even realise that :O scott's kind of a douche. just saying. the blogging format is all jancked up, so i'm not exactly sure how long this post is going to end up. so if it's short, i'm sorry. stay magical(: