Our conversations :D

ok, so basically this is all the cute things nico has said.

Me: watcha up to?
Nico: nm just in bed doing nothing
Me: you tired?
Nico: yes
Me: then take a nap sleepyhead
Nico: ok cutie.
:D
_________________________
Nico: im hungry
Me: well go eat something silly!
Nico: i am:)
Me: oh yeah? watcha eating?
Nico: a pillow
Me: hm, i dont think ive tried that before...
Nico: itz yummy :)
Me: I'll have to try that sometime
Nico: :)
___________________________________
Me: watcha up to?
Nico: watching nightmare on elm street
Me: That's scary nico! i only watch scary movies if i'm with someone so i can cuddle up with them and scream. if i really need to.
Nico: really?
Me: mmhh
Nico: do you like to cuddle?
Me: Sometimes;D it depends on who im with ;)
Nico: like who?
Me: my friends;D and other people...
Nico: would you cuddle with me?
Me: mmhh:D
Nico: :)
Me: would you cuddle with me?
Nico: yes
Me: :)
Nico: :)
_______________________________________________________________________________
Nico: my favorite movie is friday the 13th
Me: what's with you and scary movies?!?
Nico: so you can cuddle
Me: awh, i'd love to cuddle with you
Nico: :)
__________________________________
Me: you still watching halloween?
Nico: yup
Me: how is it?
Nico: good
Me: i won't watch it unless i'm with someone. you know..cuddlin
Nico: :)
_______________________________________________________
Me" you have no idea, i'm so tired i'm not paying attention to what i'm saying so if i say something crazzyyy sry
Nico: ok cutie :)
____________________________________________________
Nico: you tired?
Me: extremely
Nico: go to sleep
Me: but...freddie (kreuger)
Nico: :) ;) :)
Me: :) he's going to get me...
Nico: i won't let him
Me: you promise?
Nico: yes
_________________________________
Me: i got a papercut opening a band aid :(
Nico: i'll kiss your booboo
Me: you will?
Nico: yup
Me: it"ll be all better:D
Nico: *sends picture of his lips in kissing position* (maria, i have to show you)
Me: aww nico!!! <3
Nico: :)
___________________________________________________________________
Nico: what you doing?
Me: just...watching tv
Nico: cool u bored?
Me: very
Nico: really? maybe of i come over you won't be bored
Me: i'm sure i wont be :)
________________________________________________________
Me: nico, im sleepyyyy
Nico: i'll let you sleep in my arms
Me: i'd love to:)
Nico: ;)
_____________________________
Me: dude. the blanket i'm using is like super comfortable
Nico: i'm hotter than the blanket your using
Me: i'm sure you are ;)
Nico: you know i am
Me: mmhh;) & you know im pretty cute
Nico: yeah, i know:)
______________________________________

i"m telling you this kid is confusing. oh, and now, angel ends all his texts with "mwah" cute.

I've got him wrapped around my finger again...:)

so, yesterday i went ice skating with camryn. holy shit, it was so much fun. see, she used to take classes at mcfetridge like me s i thought we would be going fast, right? she forgot most of the stuff. she probably fell like 5 times. technically, we did skate with Nico (he couldn't come) because we skyped him the entire time. and lucky for me, i just so happened to look amazing yesterday, and since camryn really couldn't skate for shit, i had to hold the phone most of the time, and talk to Nico. this is where the explanation of the tile comes in. like i said, i looked amazing and i had to hold the phone most of the time, so he saw my face a lot.ok whenever i would smile AT CAMRYN (which means i wasn't looking at him at all) he would have this huugee smile. at my smile. i could see it out of the corner of my eye. and we were eating fries and i wasn't looking at him obviously i wasn't going to stare at him and eat, but he was staring at me. yup, I've got him exactly where i want him. mwuahaha! AND THEN he text camryn yesterday asking if i was awake. see how thoughtful he is? he didn't want to text me because if i was asleep then he would've woken me up, which he obviously didn't want to do.  and he's starting to be sweet to me again. all is going well in the world. so yesterday i went shopping with Elly. my mom needs a dress for Friday, and there is a Carson at the hip so she took Elly and i to the hip. but she was so panicked about letting us shop by ourselves. she was like "DON;T TALK TO STRANGERS" "MEET ME HERE AT 6:20" ok, Elly thought it was six thirty so we got there at 6:21 and when we got there we saw my mom calling us. we were a minute late, seriously. and then she extended it to 6:45. but we kind of broke the no talking to strangers rule because we went to zumiez and one of the guys that works there was talking to us about how he never had a lot of money when he was our age and how he never got to go to stores by himself.  and then this guy told Elly he liked her shirt. so, we saw some people from our school. people Elly just so happens to hate. and they went into the same store as us. but then Elly saw the guy she likes and she wanted to stalk him. but by the time we turned around, he was long gone. overall, it was a pretty successful shopping day. i got candy, a bracelet,  2 pairs of underwear, and pants. they"re like a nice teal color. love them. so when i was in hot topic there was this guy, and i think it might've been the guy who stalked me at the other hot topic. no joke. i swear, i just can't keep them away.... lol jk of course i can just show them my face..

            oh! so this like just happened a few minutes ago, and I'm adding it now. so we were talking and he told me he was tired so i was like "take a nap, sleepyhead" and he's like "ok cutie" *victory dance* :D can't stop smiling about it.

And now I'm drunk and wearing flip flops on fifth avenue

love that line. i don't know why though. its from poses by rufus wainwright slept over at emelies last night. it was pretty fun. so, the more i think about it, the less i like victor, and the more i think about dating him, the more it scares me. see,victor seems like he'd be a good bad boyfriend. like, he's really cute and sweet, and says all the nicest things, but he's perverted and he'd hurt me when he would dump me. now don't get me wrong he's is till pretty damn attractive,but....i don't know. and with nico, it just seems like he wouldn't be perverted. like, he'd be really sweet and nice and stuff. and when he would break up with me it would be as nice as possible. let me down easy. don't you love how I'm figuring out the break ups too? because i know they're going to dump me. its just a well known fact. scientifically proven. by me. i went to the mall today, which was a huge spirit lifter because while in hot topic there was this really cute guy. he looked about eh, 13ish. and he was stalking me around the store! love it. like, he was literally following me. i went to look at the sunglasses, he went to look at the sunglasses, i went to the shirts, he went to the shirts, i went to pay, oh look, there he is by the cash register. he was just so attractive. and then we went into claires and there was these two guys and they were buying stuff for their girlfriends. thought it was so cute. they were looking at necklaces and one of them asked the other "do you think she'll like it?" love it. i seriously wanted to go up to him and give him a hug and be all "yes, she'll love it:D" but that would be extremely creepy. tomorrow i'm going with elly to her tumbling practice because my mom has to work and scott is working on his car. then, when my mom gets off of work, I'm going ice skating with camryn tommorow. but i think nico is coming. which should be interesting. I'm sorta excited to meet him but then again, I'm nervous. he's supposed to be like really tall like five four. which is like crazy for me because I'm a tiny four nine. BUT THEN AGIN IM CUTE AS HELL SO IT DOESNT MATTER. haha:D love you, whoever you are.

I'm telling you, this kid wants me.

ok, so Nico is like seriously wants me. cuz yesterday he sent me a pic of his Christmas eve party outfit and i was like "you look so cute!" and he's like "your cute too" then he wanted to see my outfit today and i sent him a pic and he's like "wow you look so pretty" then we were talking and we started talking about black ops, and he was like "you play?!?" and i was like "yeah" then he's like "omg!!! :) :)" then just now i was like "so were you satisfied with your presents?" and he's like "yeah, i have you remember?" awww! love him. i think I've developed a slight crush on him and i would actually love to date him, now that i think about him. well, its good he keeps hitting on me. :D actually, now that i think a bout him, i would love to date him. i mean, think about it, he's zoo sweet, he's good looking, he's not perverted, he actually cares and listens, and he keeps hitting on me, which means the idea of us dating has crossed his mind before. i wouldn't mind dating him. nope, not at all.....

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! XD

well, id have to say that this christmas was pretty successful. i got everything i asked for. well, almost. i didn't get my red hoodie or final fantasy, but those are things i can buy my self. i got a huge 42 (or 46) inch tv that is also used as a computer. so, guess where I'm typing this from;] i think Nico might ask me out.... to be honest, id be really happy if he did. plus, that would take  my mind off of victor. the more and more i think of it, the less i sorta want to date him. JP talked to him, but he really didn't seem to give a shit. nico would be a wayyy better boyfriend,anyway. we actually have a lot in common and he keeps flirting and he's not perverted. at all. which is glorious. well, i have to spend time with the family. merry christmas!!

Merry Christmas. Love, Maegan

finally, winter nreak is here. sheesh i dont know how long ive been waiting for this. maria was my secret santa!!! love it. she got me bath and body works in a cute bag:D so yesterday was soo much fun.i sleptover at ellys house and we had a little party. with alchohol. lots of alchohol. now, i'm not goin to lie, i got a bit buzzed. like if i had one more i wouldve been  tipsy. so not that bad. but elly was gone. like completely. we were sitting down and everything was fine, nobody seemed drunk. then we got up to go get something and everything was like, moving for me. but elly couldnt even walk. she was doing lunges just to move. it was sooo funny. we got lucky though, because her dad didnt decide to come down until after she sobered down a bit. she did pretty good, had a whole conversation with him and was walking. she could walk a straight line after a it. but then she insisted we have a dance party. so she went upstairs, grabbed a dress for her and i, told me to put it on and then she started dancing. it was sooo much fun you dont even understand. plus, she was still a bit drunk so her dancing was....very... funny. gotta love her. i sobered up like nothing. my alchohol tolerance level must be high. oh, and lizzie slept over too. and since we were drinking and dancing and blablabla she wasnt very...comfortable.like, she stopped dancing and started watching a movie. she even told elly and i "im not very happy with the sight of you guys, like at all today.". MAYBE YOU NEED TO GROW UP. im not saying what we were doing was right, but the way she was acting was like she didnt even want to have the slightest bit of fun. shes too.....good. and innocent. its not like anyone else was there, so nothing was going to happen. she was just, i dont even know how to describe it. i guess i can see where she was going with it though. i mean, you basically grow up with someone and theyve been a certain way, then all of a sudden one day theyre a tottaly different person. itd be hard. so i saw one of my presents today. didnt mean to, honest, i walked in the room, saw it, then was yelled at to go to sleep. it was a new pink straightner. and it wasnt like that girly pink it was that kind of pink that makes you feel like a bad ass cuz you have a straightner or something in that shade. you know what i mean? exacty. i got my presents today. well not mandys. hers i got a looong time ago. i got pops, scott, my mom and daurna. but hes just getting like 40$ and a a card. ok, so theres a present behing my tree thats sooo super huge. its wider than my tree. and its so big, they had to put 2 bows on it. yeah, serious chiz. ok so my moms present was already on sale but the lady thought it was cute how i was buying my moms present all by myself blablabla (she was on the other side of where i was) so she gave me two dollars off. it was supposd to be 39 dollars but i only payed 37.30. but heres the thing. it was originally 100$!!!! i walked out of there a satisfied shopper.

 oh! so you know the meme thats all "blablabla ALL the blablabla"? well we had our christmas party today, and i was doing my thing and then before we left i look on the board and i see that meme and it says "jingle ALL the way!!" i officaly love my class. forever and ever.

If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.

So today i went to therapy. It was pretty cool. She could tell i hated the whole living situaton and she was like "you look miserable. Want some tea?" and she took her shoes off, and tottaly just got so comfortable in her little chair. She said by the way i expressed myself she could tell i was a brilliant kid. She told me she doesnt judge, which is fabulous. The only time she will get involved is if she feels like im going to harm myself or others. Everything i tell her is strictly confedential. Love it. Shes pretty cool. Her name is dr. Clark i believe. So for our science project thing we have to get pictures for our "family album" and i kept telling my mom that there was a certain type of trait that person had to have but she kept telling me no and she knew what to do and i wasnt explaining it wrong and im two seconds away from getting a table. She also banged the table very hard. Poor table. So anyways shes looking up the exact oppisite of what im telling her and imnot saying anything (though i should have!) cuz she was already super pissed. So tommorow im just going to have to wake up early, and get the damn pictures myself. I swear sometimes my mom is stupid. She threatens me saying im going to get an F then when she tries to "help" i end up getting a lower grade because of her!! But lets be honest, if something happened to her id go a little crazy. I dont think im seeing her until sunday. Cuz tommorow im going with scott in the morning (ellys having a sleepover thing and we dont think lizzie was invited so i dont wanna show up with one extra bag tommorow) then friday im… oh wait im seeing her friday. I swear nicos so cute, because hes been like, hitting on me i guess for the past two or three days. Hes soo cute, love it.

Aw, Logan. I'll never forget you.

Ok, so i was on omegle and one of the people said he just got out of a break up. I told him i was sorry you know? The usual stuff and then we went on talking about how it happened and that he still misses her and he was basically ranting. I was giving him the best advice ive ever given in my whole life. And it wasnt the usual " other fish in the sea" shit, it was legitimate advice. At one point i said ( i didnt tell my real name or age) "*sigh* id like to help you logan. Honest, you seem like a nice guy. But frankly, im only sixteen and theres nothing much i can do. I know youll find someone else and i know you will. Logan, goodnight, goodbye, and goodluck *insert heart* (blogger wont let me)
" and right as i was about to disconnect he wrote back saying "aww" then i left. I will never forget him. He was 22. Pretty nice guy. I liked him. I hope he finds someone. He will. Plus, it sucks being alone on christmas… oh! And mitchellhe was so formal and nice and polite. He was from the netherlands. I was goin to go so i was all "well mitchell i have to go to sleep now for it is midnight and i have school tommorow. It was a pleasure meeting you." and he was all "sleep well"

Ay Mi Planta!!! XD

ok, so i know i havent been blogging like, ever but its been...busy. ok, so anyways thursday and friday were like super fun!!! i am now an official cool person to hang out with according to sam and william. williams not as bad as people say he is. ok, so i kind of want him and sam to date but then again i dont. hes stealing her away from us. like, on friday he refused to let go of her, it was like "DUDE SHE WAS OURS FIRST. BACK OFF" but sam told me she doesnt like him like that so its all good. ok, so on friday, william, maria, lizzie, and i were walking to marias house becasue she wanted to change. so on the way there we run into karina and patricia and they just came back from the cvs and they were like "we just saw victor ortiz there!!" and i was thinking "bitches. go. away." i was so jealous. anyways, maria gets changed and william wants us to walk to his house so he can change into his little conductor suit for glee, and so were walking and william crosses the street but we all stay on the other side. lizzie had told us she knew the way back to prussing from there so me and maria decided to be crazy and ditch her. so were running and then after a while, were like, ok shes going to be mad, lets wait, so we wait and we see her and she turns around and starts walking so were like ok she knows what shes doing whatever so we keep running. we get to prussing and lizzie isnt there. she comes all crazy and mad and on the verge of tears and blablabla so then she goes off on maria and i and shes like "dont talk to me right now seriously" ok. shes probably the only person ever who has cried over someone ditching her. i ditch people all the time! and so does maria! and usually the people are cool about laugh it off haha whatever. but no, lizzie runs into the mobiles and were thinking shes extending the story and telling her mom we left her and she almost got kidnapped or some shit like that so i call stephanie and ask if i can go to her house cuz she lives like right by prussing and so i call her she asks her mom we arrange this whole thing and then lizzie calls me to come back in the mobiles and apparently she didnt tell her mom and she acted all cool after that so whatever, then i had to sleep over her house. but before that we went to this restaurant with anushka and her 12 year old uncle tony. i think omars uncle owns the place becasue we saw him there and he was helping clean and everything like a good person so i kept trying to get him to notice me and say hi and he never did until the end. tony has internet on his phone and we kept looking up songs and me and lizzie were rapping and the whole place was silent. it was pretty insane. oh yeah, so anushka took the plant and ripped a leaf off and was tearing it up and the lady saw it and was all "AY MI PLANTA!!!" and moved it. super hilarious. i really don't think me and victor are going to end up together because i found out he likes that whore shelby. ok, so dos made out with her and victor told him that he didnt like how he did that right in fornt of him because he liked her. and now the more i look at him by her the worse it makes it. he was talking to her and he was smiling and nodding his head at everything she said! BTW he was the cutest smile and laugh ever. like, in the world. i dont even understand why he likes her. shes ugly, shes nasty, and shes stupid and mean. this girl amy had a petition to get her kicked out of the school. doctor Ehrenberg said if she got sixty or more people to sign, he would do it. i think she got to 40 before something happened and she had to stop. victor probably told shelby and she told her parents. crazy. i'm (somewhat) pretty. i'm not a compete and total whore. he should be going after me. im going to have to talk to jp... he doesnt even know me that much. and im pretty sure i already talked about this but emily was talking to him on facebook and she asked if he knew me and he said "yeah, i see her around school." made me happy for about three days, you have no idea. well, now im at pops house, so im going to be with la familia. i swear, our family is so attractive....XD haha

The people who deserve nothing are handed everything...

*cough* lizzie. god i really do hate her. so yesterday i had one of my crying break downs and my mom walked in on it. normally i would stop crying, but i didnt. i just kept on crying. i told her everything. well, almost everything. i told her why i hate scott, how it feels like my life is being lived for me, that nothing is fair, and i even told her that sometimes i just want it all to end. i didnt tell her i cut myself or that i swear, because i was too scared. but i did tell her i did date. and when i told her that i want it all to end sometimes she said i was scaring her. she suggested family therapy because of the whole scott situation but i told her i need self therapy. so i think i might be doing that. if i do i know im going to cry and i hope that isnt a problem. now, im not a whore or anything but i need something (or someone) to keep my mind off of this whole issue. perhaps a boyfriend.... *cough* victor ortiz *cough* or just a really good friend. i need someone like....like maria. i feel as if shed be very understanding. we need to have a sleepover at my house. (got that maria? ;D) maybe i should just stop thinking about it all together. no, because it would be locked up inside of me and i would have random crying sessions all over again. im just worried my mom will put me in a mental hospital or put me with a therapist who specializes in mentally insane people. hm whatever. guess what guys? everythings ok with me and nick now. he was all "im going to start being nice to you" then we hugged. all is good in the world. im gonna go nom on some food.

Soo....Ricky....

*deep breath* nutcracker"s finally over, thank god. it wasnt all that bad but my feet hurt like crazy. so ricky came to the show today. umm what do i say....hes weird. like, really weird. and mean. im not sure if thats how he is with everybody but...hes pretty mean. not as fun as i thought he would be, ill be honest. like, i was getting my makeup done and i went back to mandy and ricky and hes like "whats thats shit on your face?" and im (already pretty annoyed with him) like "whats that shit on your face?" and he kept talking about his and mandys....sexual occourences. like i know about it but i dont want to know about it. i give him a C+ over all. omg my throat hurts like fuuuuuuck. i sneezed and someone stabbed me in the throat. at least thats what it felt like. god, i hope its not strept. so today for ballet camryn and i pulled a prank on hunter. well, we were going to, but never had time to. so, hunter thinks me and nico are dating, or atleast end up dating. so camryn, nico, and i decided to have a little fun. basically, we pretended that me and nico actually were dating. but she was like never around us, we didnt have time, and nico was with his mom. he broke his knee so he couldnt move to another room. it was soo sad. cuz me and camryn forgot he broke it and were like "move to another room!" and hes like "i cant..." aww i felt so bad. and he apoligized a million times so were going to do it tommorow during pointe class. going to be hilarious. hes like "so like, do i call you babe or something?" and im like "if you want..." hes like "ok, i will." so him and camryn pulled a joke on me. he pretended like he loved me and blablabla and of course i figured it out, im just that smart. and then today he was flirting and im like "camryn, he knows i know it was a joke, right?" and shes like "yeah..." and im like "so why is he still flirting..." and shes like "oh my god". pretty crazy. anyways, im going to audition for swan lake and im pretty sure im going to get a a good part. almost positive. its like almost written in stone that im going to get a lead for jazz though. we have to wait until after christmas for him to tell us though. grr i cant wait that long its like two weeks. not even we have to wait after. lets see...its 17 days!!! that is way too long! eh, im sure it will go by fast. atleast i hope it does. so i didnt realize how many pictures i had on my ipod because ricky and mandy were looking through them from the very beginning and they started eh, two hours before the show started and after the show they were almost half way done. thats insane. ive been working on it though, every once in a while i just pick random pictures and delete them. but first i scan them cuz theres some pics i have to keep. well thats pretty much it for now.

I just want to explode

i really do. sometimes i just cant handle living and i want it all to end. i lose it. break down. cry like crazy. when i say i cut myself i dont mean that i tottaly make myself bleed. no, i just...enough to feel it. i have one little tiny scar on my wrist because i was so mad at myself for what i did. its like a promise to myself never to do that to anyone again. i want to scream. i want to scream so bad but i cant. theres times when i just want it all to end. honestly, where am i going with my life? i know im only 12, but theres a lot more pressure on me than you think. dance. where the hell is that going? nowhere because im not good enough to make it anywhere. lets see, im going to be alone forever. guys are so stupid these days they want the girl thats the cutest. it doesnt matter if shes smart or not. they dont care about anything like that (atleast not in my school) if shes cute and clueless, go for her. like lizzie and vicor for example. lizzie and every single guy in the school we should say. every guy likes her, but why?!?! i mean i guess im pretty, i can flirt, ive dated before but yet they all go for her because cute and clueless.  friends. lately it seems like everyone hates me. like theyre all trying to avoid me. they cant stand to be seen with someone like me because i dont meet their standards. as i type this i look at my fingers and see sausages. theyre soo terrible. i wish it would all just end. or that i could wake up one day and it would all be magically perfect. that atleast one guy would like me and itd be obvious (besides angel) that i could be as skinny as elly and as smart as natalia. that i could be just a good of dancer as sydney, alex, and bryanna. because you know theyre going places. i want to cry. but really theres no place i can but school. even then, the teacher talks to you blablabla next thing you know youre being sent home and being called crazy by your mother as shes signing you into a mental hospital. i cant even cry at my dads house which is where i would like to because i have mandy. i wish victor ortiz would just notice me sometimes other than "that girl to check out".  i wish i could just tell everyone what i think and then end it all. my mom just walked in and yelled at me. i cant live here anymore. i just cant.

Take me to your best friends house, normally were making out. ohh yeah

i love that song. its called tongue tied by grouplove. you may know it as that song from the iPhone commercial "take me to your best friends house, i love you then i love you now ohh yeahh" today was pretty weird. idk why there was nothing strange about it really it just felt weird. i thought it was Monday. so Mandy called me at four in the morning. i answered it because i thought it was something important but then i remembered its Mandy soo yeah. well we were talking and Scott comes in all crazy and yelling bla bla bla. then i go downstairs and my mom starts yelling and whatever. like, ok if I'm going to lose sleep because of something i  decided to do, then just let it be that way. if i make a mistake and my whole day is ruined that's fine because i decided to do it. all i really want is some god damn independence. like, my life is being lived for me and its so....generic. don't do this don't do that don't do this because its weird. ok, its weird in your eyes because your so stupid but in my eyes its different. something i really want. if my parent and Scott let me be the real me for at least one day, they wouldn't even know who i am. they think i know nothing. i know wayyy more than I'm supposed to (about the dirty things) they think i don't swear or that i know what they're talking about when they have "adult" conversations. they have those conversations right in front of me like I'm stupid and cant comprehend what they're saying. i just want to explode. you know how people scream into pillows to let anger out? normal thing. well i told my mom i wanted to scream into a pillow and shes like "that's not normal Maegan" wtf?!?! people scream into pillows all the time. i just want to tell her everything. i just want to run away. i just want to live with my dad. he gets me. he let Mandy date with no big deal ( at least not that big i don't think) so it wouldn't be much of a hassle when i start dating (and actually telling them. please, Ive dated before.) he said he'd let me get a lip ring when I'm 16.i cant even tell my mom i want one without the fear of her thinking I'm insane...

            well, now that that's out, back to reality. omg it was so funny because lizzie tottaly interrupted the discussion during school and ms mccright was all "lizzie, your not that important." and on accident i yelled out "thank you!" haha oops :D so Elly had to ask ms mccright about some counseling stuff and she came to me and shes like "oh yeah, i may have told ms mccright you cut yourself." i freaked out. nobody was supposed to know about that except the people i told. my mom had a long discussion with me about why that's wrong and blablabla and i was thinking "heh, too late for that now..." but Elly was just kidding. I think. I hope.

Aww

so today was the first dress rehearsal for nutcracker. it went pretty good, i think. me and Cameron were going to skype Nico but he got grounded from skype because he got a 70 on a test. speaking of Nico he is so adorable! so his dad is a firefighter and hes getting an award tonight and Nico didn't know what to wear. so i said "you should wear nice pants and a nice shirt. and because its firefighter stuff make it a red shirt or blue shirt. but not too dark, like light blue" then he went to check his closet. and hes like "ok ill wear that" he listened!!! made me sooo happy. then i went on stage but i didn't tell him so i went back and i was like "sorry i was on stage" and hes like "ok, i hope you did good." and i said "thanks. i think i did good" and he goes "you did awesome" awh. adorable. so hunter made a bet with herself that me and Nico are going to be dating by next year, at least. and I'm like "hes younger than me though" and shes like "beyonce and jay-z are soo far apart" so whatever. i wouldn't mind dating him, but i still got my eyes on victor ;D so theres this guy named nick who shares a post with Elly and hes pretty mean to me. i don't wanna say bullying, but hes pretty scary. he says I'm too short and when i don't listen to him, he goes "I'm just going to have to make you ugly now" but isn't that kind of a compliment?!?!? because hes basically saying that I'm not ugly now and that I'm pretty. doesn't make sense. but whatever I'm not going to let him get to me. nope. i totally rocked my costume. the shade of blue is like made for me. beautiful. Ricky's going to see me on Sunday with Mandy. which means hes missing a bears game to see it. which is supposedly like huge. i bet when I'm dancing I'm going to look and see them like making out. *sigh* yup. plus they're going to be in the back because my mom couldn't get good enough seats. (Mandy, I'm sooo sorry.) maybe you can sit by the piano. or on the balcony. give you and Ricky some privacy. eh, well have to wait and see.

Happy birthday mommy!!

Ok well i shouldnt out how old she is so ill put it in math 2(18)+ 3. There you can figute that out for yourself. Anyways i dont know what were doing for it. But whatever. I think were going to like mart anthonys or something. Im making her a cake:D

Drama, gtfo.

ok, so at ballet yesterday (it was 2 hours) camryn was skyping her friend named nico. now, nico isnt all that bad looking btw. and so i was talking to him being all cute and stuff, you know just being myself and we had a conversation whatever nothing much right? well like two hours after practice, she texted me saying that nico wanted to call me! so, apperantly he thought i was cute and like wanted to date. so then i get a voicemail from nico. hes all "hey its nico i just wanted to say hi, call me back" i didnt call back. but he did. so i answer and hes like "hi" and im like "nico?" and hes like "yeah its me" and then im all "umm, cameron sayed you wanted to call me because you thought i was cute" and he interrupted with "yeah" and im like "but i like someone else, a lot (victor!! <3) but we can still be friends" and hes like "oh. ok" i was like "so were friends right?" and hes like "yeah, were friends" and we continue talking. so anyway we text now and were friends on skype. so i went to the dentist today and i almost died. (this was not my regular dentist btw)  ok, so she was doing the count thing with her hook thingy and she came across my loose tooth. she started tapping it and i didnt think much of it. then she started hitting it. really hard and she hit it like 3 or 4 times then she hit once really hard and it came out. hurt like hell. then she was brushing my teeth with the fancy toothbrush. FIRST OF ALL she didnt even let me choose my flavor of toothpaste, she just gave me mint. then she was brushing my top teeth and cut my lips four times!!! they still hurt. then her water hurt really bad, for some reason. it was like a million needles stabbing my mouth at once. then she was all "im sorry next time that wont happen" and im thinking bitch there will be no next time with you. and through all this my mom wasnt even in the room so i was by myself with someone who could have possible killed me. and after all this she didnt even give me a free toothbrush or anything. im pretty sure thats illegal...

       so tommorow me and maria might go to the mall to see santa claus!!! were silly. we are also going to buy gifts for our secret santa thing. it was just a thing me, elly, sam, jacky, maria, anushka and lizzie did. i got sam. shhh... she told elly what she wanted for christmas and elly told me so im going to get that. she wants nerd glasses from claires. ok well i just learned that maria cant come so nevermind on that... maybe elly will come. noo she didnt want to take a pic with him last time we were at the mall so... im not taking lizzie. hmm and im definately not going by myself becasue that makes me look sooo lonely. maybe i will take lizzie, just to be nice... hmm probably. shes not that bad, theres somethings shes cool to do with but most times i want to chop her head off. anyways... HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Ahhh!!!! we were so close!!!!

omg today was crazy yet amazing. so after math, victors class comes out and we walk back with them. me as close to victor as possible so then I'm walking and he looks back, looks at me, and then moves a bit closer. I'm telling you....  then i go into class and i tell JP and Emily and maria and JPs all "do you really like him?" and i go "*blushes & smiles* yeah,," he gave me a heart murmur! then she goes "I'm going to talk to him" and I'm like "no he doesn't really know me" and she goes "when I'm done, you'll be the only person he knows" and I'm like "but-" "I DONT CARE. let me do my thing" then Emily's all "let her do her thing" and i sigh. i don't think she ever did though. so then after school me maria Sam and Elly were by the mobiles and joey Gonzalez (Elly's crush) some guy and victor were playing football and joeys all "victor go on the other side" the side we were on. and he walks over all cool puts his bag down and starts walking in our direction LOOKING AT ME BY THE WAY and I'm all "omg maria hes coming over here ohmigodohmigodohmigod" and I'm basically freaking out and shes like "then turn around!!" "right." turns out he was walking to the side. but we still made perfect eye contact. perfect. eye. contact. so anyways other than that school was pretty good. social studies was fun cuz me maria and JP were talking and laughing all cute like. omg Lizzie's such a fail cuz me and Elly left our table/row thing and we went across and we didn't invite Lizzie and shes like "I'm not talking to you guys" and I'm like "whatd you say?" and shes like "i said I'm not-- hmm" haha epic fail!!  then in science we had to switch seats and I'm looking for a seat cuz I'm a nerd and i had no immediate people to go to and then i hear "Maegan!!" and guess who it was? Jessica plaud. so i get over there and she starts laughing and I'm like "what?" and shes like "I'm excited" so i sit next to Edin, an empty seat, then Michael. and across from JP and diagonal to tomasz and Hailey. this year should be fun....

oh! remember how in my dream how victor fell and i went and helped him? well when he was playing football, i walked past him and two seconds later...he fell. its all coming together...

I have the authority to slap you...

so today was just....amazing. ok, so me and maria are walking down the hallway looking for Sam and victor was there and so we pass him up (eye contact was made) and then we find Sam and she wants to go back and so we pass up victor again (no eye contact this time) and then we see Jacky and she wants to go to the cafeteria so we have to walk back again but THIS time joey Lopez jumps in front of me and we have a conversation and victor is staring at me. you know how you can feel when someones staring at you, yeah. then i give joey a hug and leave. then in breakfast Jacky told me that not only was he looking at me but he was looking at me and smiling!!! ahh!!! the chances are getting higher people. then Elly posted a pic of me and her on facebook and he liked it!!! <3 we are at a 82% chance here. you don't even understand the seriousness of this predicament. its pretty serious. i also wanted to say congrats to my maria!!!! she made it to science fair but sadly she didn't place :( i thought hers was the best!!! but i must admit she was up against some pretty harsh competition. salma stole my idea from last year and put lights on her board but she didn't place either. everyone who placed was from my class, that's how cool we are. so i went to the doctors yesterday and it turns out i have a virus and a heart murmur. now i don't think heart murmurs are a serious thing. i have to go to the doctors again and if they think its bad i have to go to a cardiologist. but she also said it could be caused by the virus and its not bad but its here to stay. basically my heart has an extra beat. but my dad has had it his whole life and hes still alive so i should be fine. the chances of me dying are like 1%. apparently my heart is going to flutter sometimes and its going to scare the crap out of me but ill be fine. so maria's so cute shes all "victor gave you that extra beat!!" awh shes so cute:D