Tommorow

so tomorrow me and maria are going to go bananas. aka jeepers. come on, y'all know you know that place. so were going tomorrow and its going to be soo much fun. were probably going to ride the roller coaster like 50 times. were going to win so many prizes we'll be bawlin. sorry I've been hanging out with this black chick for the past hour. Mandy says she wants a temporary tattoo so i gotta get her that. so lately I've been noticing that dance has been kinda a let down. like me and my friends made mirliton which is on pointe and i thought that was pretty good for all of us. but noo their little show off asses had to go to the freaking pas De deux! that's like insane that's where people like Liz (the lead for mirliton) go. self confidence level: -12. i didnt think i was a bad dancer but now its like...i dont know. thats the thing i dont even know what to think of my dancing anymore. after every show its always "oh maegan you did so good blablabla" but no one every gives me feedback. thats one of the reasons why it kind of sucks being a dancer because nobody in my family knows about dance. well, that kind of dance anyways. so its like im practicing at home and for all i know i could be doing it wrong. and i wont know til i go back to class. everything was going great until stupid alex and sydney came along. what it toke me ten years to do, it took them two. not even two more like one and a half. i used to be mrs idas favorite. i used to be the person all the people wanted to talk to and hang out with. nooo you gotta be a good dancer for that kind of thing. sure, they still call me when they need someone to fill in a part for a show but still. i dont have the connections with the dancers. just the people that work there. sure, whenever nadias there doing make up for shows she always pulls me aside and does my make up all awesome like so i dont have to look like everyone else. but thats only because me and nadia are like this. *crosses fingers* but them, they talk to everyone like andrea and sonali and daisy and gulianna. me and gulianna used to go to the same school!! dance is a major confidence killer. and if my mom actually cared like she says she does she wouldve looked into the bryant youth professionals in a heartbeat. she still hasnt. because she doesnt think i can. she just doesnt have the heart to tell me. when shes all "oh, your a good dancer" its only because shes a mom and shes obliged to say things like that. imagine telling your kid that they suck at something. not very easy to do. i need serious help